February 23, 2013

I am in BIG Trouble

troubleI got to be honest with you.

I am in trouble.

Not with the law, but at work and at home.

You see as if having one wife is not bad enough, I have two.

And they both know and have learned to accept each other.

It gets even weirder,

They are Facebook friends and sometimes even hang
out with each other.

Most men are jealous and envious. Both wives are extremely HOT

But like anything in life…..

Too much of anything can be bad.

I am always in the dog house with both of them.

Man in the Doghouse

For instance….

I get in trouble with my home wife (Johnette)
when I stay at work late, listen to rap or watch
too much sports.


I get in trouble with my work wife (Alejandra)
pretty much on a daily basis.

Like the other day when someone complained to the boss lady about me.

We had a lady come in, that was supposedly “dead serious”
about getting in shape.

So I gave her my usual spiel.

“I only work with serious people”

“You got to show up everyday and follow the plan”

“I have the right to fire you if I feel you’re wasting my time and your money”

She then says…

“This is exactly what I was looking for, I will go to the bank and come right back to sign up”

So instead of going to lunch…

I waited.

And waited…

And waited…

Starving, I decided to give her a call.

She then says, she had an emergency phone call that she couldn’t come in. (no courtesy to call me and say I can’t make it)

She then rescheduled for later that afternoon.

No show..

Then rescheduled for the next day morning.

No show..

So I send her the following text:

It seems like we’re getting off the wrong foot. I don’t think you would be the right fit for our facility. we can only help people who do what they say and are willing to work hard. I would be more than glad to find you a another fitness professional.

That’s right, I refuse to do business with her.

I know who I can help and who I can’t.

And I have to stay true to myself and do what I feel is right regardless of financial gain.

Most people would be like yes I can help you, just hand over your money.

To me that’s called “selling out’


We want people to come here and get results. PERIOD

So if you’re someone who is willing to put in the work, I will do everything
in my power to help you.

On the other hand if you want a magic pill or just want to pay someone
and not show up, I would rather refer you to many gyms that
would love to take your money. We don’t do that here.

If Oprah couldn’t buy fitness, you can’t either.

We actually stalk and harass you for not coming in.

And get this…..

Stalking and harassment is at no extra and included in your membership.

After all isn’t that what you’re paying for?

You ask and I deliver.

Calling it like it is.



PS – Checkout all these new programs we’re offering

Fit For A Photo Shoot: Getting a bunch of clients ready for a professional photo shoot in June. Life is all about goals and this is a perfect opportunity to get in shape, get some professional photos taken.

Bikini Squad: Obviously this one is not for dudes. Basically this is for girls that want to take get in great shape and become one of our Bikini Squad girls.

Kids Boot Camp (ages 6-12): Already in progress Monday, Wednesday and Friday’s at 4pm. Fun way to introduce kids to working out and fight childhood obesity.

Chubby Hubby Program: Working on the details. Basically will take on a limited number of men and make them into “magic Mike” for their wives. Stay tuned.

Free Children Self Defense Seminar: This Saturday 2/23. From 9:30am-11am and 11:30am-1pm. I hear more and more stories of kids getting bullied. Be sure to take advantage of this…

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